Sonic the Pervert 2
by AbsoluteVictoryUnlosingRanger
Summary: So Sonic won the first game and got to make out with three friends. As a side effect, the original game has been scrapped to protect the children, a villain has gained access to a powerful old weapon. Rated M for graphic sexual themes and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Sonic the Hedgehog**

**5 minutes earlier...**

The white fish tank-shaped landscape of the document manager flickered with life once again as wind troves through the distant land, this wind was not caused by the running of some land-based creature or by an artificial source, it raced from right to left until it peaked and skewed, shifting downward a sentence and guiding the scene to an extremely-wide shot of a building. No, a facility. A detention facility under the jurisdiction of GUN (Guardian Units of Nations), like a fat, pompous man we welcome into our social circle wearing steel, iron, and concrete robes as the camera brought the facility into focus. Four towers surrounded a wall by which a hundred meters intertwined them, guarding the body of the island from all outside invaders as they stood vigilantly over the corners of the prison watching the vast amount of sea and sand that tickled the feet of cliffs daily. Sentries were posted, guns were loaded, bad news was everywhere to be found.

The only place that truly mattered in this swollen facility was that of a cell that contained yellow bars and white, metal spikes planted in front of the cell door. From the inside, this spike-studded cell was less than pleasant, though most timidly a small word and numbers were carved into the side of a wall on the left side. It read: Day 60. For sixty long days, the prisoner had been confined here. Blue as ocean waves, spiky as a spiky-haired porcupine, and obscene as an R-Rated movie was the creature formerly known as "Sonic the Hedgehog". But few people would ever identify him as such, for Sonic was a hero to the populace of places like Central City, Westopolis, and Station Square.

A good, honest hero who had never done them any harm - until he did - with his video games being constantly child-friendly, moral-carrying, as well as great fun. Well, no one would believe that this hulking, well-endowed male creature with grizzly teeth and thick slabs of rocky muscle covering his entire body, what very possibly could have been carved from a Greek statue for all any of the other inmates could tell. Sure, he had the voice of Sonic, and he had a tail, and seemed to be able to run really fast, but still, no one could accept that their hero had in almost a month ago sexually assaulted two women, one of whom was under the age of consent, and an even younger boy who was known as Sonic's companion.

That last part really hadn't gone over well in court. Sonic grimaced.

But fret not, horny friend! For as Sonic paused, realizing that he could physically hear every single thought he was having and that his actions were being dictated in unanimous symphony like pages from a novel, a voice sang down from the plotted heavens and beckoned to the hedgehog we all know and love, "Sonic, oh the fastest being in the lands, Sonic Hedgehog, do I call!"

Sonic stood up, and rather dramatically, waved his arms in composing patterns, soliloquizing, "What specter does beckon me from this _dreamy _moat? This lizard-filled honeyspoon, this tarantuala-infested bottle of woe? Do question fate and providence in this hath-slacken shape. My weary bones do collar me to this wretched form that does terrorize the townspeople. Miserable cheeks, fallen arms, reach desperately to the light from this sullen chamber, what little hope does spill through it? And do embrace this eagle a'far that does summon my attentions, this carrier of massaged will!" the pervert paused, almost checking his own mouth for tongue infections or some kind of microchip.

A laugh played inside his cell from wall to wall and it was moments of breathing that passed before it ceased, "Haaahaaa... okay, I can't believe I got you to say that!"

"Who the hell are you?" said Sonic speaking normally, "And what the hell did you do to me?"

With grained transition, the prison cell was no longer viable, as Sonic's meaty face was placed inside of a familiar text box that was surrounded by a blue background. Above him and one the top-right and in a red background was a man with chestnut hair cluttered messily like he hadn't bothered to comb it. In fact, as of this sentence, he probably hadn't. He wore a yellow tape sweatshirt that covered the only half of his body that could be seen inside of his black picture window, and he gave a radiant smile as Sonic gazed at him curiously. Where had this mysterious man come from? Why were they talking inside of text boxes again? The only explanation could be...

It hit Sonic like a stack of glass bricks, the facts all crackling in midair while they crumbled into thousands of different pieces all in alternate corners of his brain at once, "Are you... an author?"

"Yes, and no." said the man, "You see, I'm actually roleplaying as the avatar of a great comic artist named Steve Farlan for the sake of the story. But in reality, I'm actually a fan fiction author who goes by the name of Lagann."

Sonic scowled, "Are you that prick from last time!"

"Er, no. That was some total ass who used the last adventure to fap." ... "Now, more importantly, I'm here to help you-"

"But why did you take the form of Steve Farlan?"

"Oh, this? Well, its something we fan fiction authors call a self-insert character. We kind of rent ourselves out to take part in our own stories so that we can interact and assist the characters we write about the way we want to, and it makes us feel really good about ourselves because we get to pretend we're living out our dreams. We're not really supposed to do it because its a breach of copyrighted material, but then there's a lot of things we shouldn't do that we do anyway."

"Like underlining random titles in the middle of dialogue?" Sonic scratched his head.

"Yes. Just like that. Anyway, I've retu... I mean, I can help you this time around."

"Help me? Help me with what?"

"Yes, you see, after you won the first game and made out with three of your friends on FOX News, the programmers decided to scrap the last game to protect the children playing it. That failed because kids are getting smarter these days and started going on the web to find better sources for porn, and downloads for Sonic the Pervert were available on several websites."

"I still don't get how that involves me."

"Sonic, listen. After you were imprisoned, a man knew that he know had the time and space to look for two things of great power! Who do you think was in the shadows during the first game? I'll tell you straight - Doctor Robotnik took advantage of your absence and has begun a war on the world of Mobius, but he's not using any robots! He's got some sort of secret weapon!"

"That sounds scary! But I can't stop Ro-buttnik while I'm trapped inside of this cell!"

Then suddenly, Sonic wasn't standing inside of the GUN prison, and was standing inside of the Document Manager background once again in some obscure juxtaposition to the previous area.

"There you go, now you can go stop Robotnik!"

"Woah, I don't count on it for too much. You see, in this game, there are two player characters. I won't be able to give you as much help as I did last time since I have to divide my attention between the two of you." Steve said, winking, "I had a lot of stuff written for this scene but I scrapped it so we could move along with the story, maybe I'll rewrite it and tell you about it some other day. Now's not the time, you've got a world to save Sonic!"

"Alright, now I'll go stop Robotnik once and for all!" the blue boner was off, ready to cause more mayhem.

**To be continued.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Rouge the Bat**

Far away in a forgotten land, the secret base of Doctor Ivo Robotnik exists in an unknown location with the sole purpose to create terrible and mighty machines for the evil doctor to use in his constant battles against the blue blur, Sonic the Hedgehog and the fastest thing alive. Or so the Doctor had once believed - Sonic's rare Light Shoes that he obtained from the Metal Harbor controlled by GUN (Guardian Units of Nations) were a good rationale to the animal's impossible movement, but he had been pushing past the sound barrier long before the incident with Shadow and Space Colony ARK. Robotnik had long ago proven his mastery of engineering by creating the very first engine in the world that could match the same speeds as Sonic and placing it inside of a robotic copy that could mimic the exact same abilities of that cursed hedgehog, it was feasible to invent such magnificent output in a machine. But curses! That rodent had always found some miraculous answer to whatever the Doctor could design or smelt, or used those blasted emeralds to increase his power to a level greater than anything current science could possibly replicate!

But robots were not the only answer to the hedgehog's speed, yes, for there were others who had similar qualities. Sonic's former doppelganger, Shadow, who Robotnik hadn't seen in years since the fall of Professor Gerald's final plot for revenge, was also a product of his grandfather's genius work prior to his execution. The Professor had granted Shadow possession of the "Hover Shoes", potentially a prototype of the Light Speed Shoes, that endowed him with a motion output well above 760 mph and to levels that rivaled Sonic's own, on top of Shadow's teleportation powers with the use of a chaos energy source. That proved there was a technology, perhaps lost long ago it may be, that could effectively rival Sonic's natural ability. And not only was there a scientific answer, there were creatures such as Knuckles the Echidna and Tails Prower that could achieve similar output merely by dedicating extreme practice to the skill - running with Sonic for so many years an example - and Rouge the Bat who could achieve a flight speed with her wings equivalent to Sonic's running speed. Their bodies were able to progress to Sonic's caliber in only years while robotics took decades just to par.

Speaking of which, where was that batty goddess in heart-toed white boots? He had summoned her to his location over an hour ago! How dare she make the great powerful Robotnik wait on her! Robotnik flocked his lips under his orange, poofy mustache and his small, oval blue goggles revealed the cocky energy in his eyes as he swirled the sword in his hands in the midst of this tiny practice session. "_I'll just have to teach her a naughty lesson!_" he thought sneeringly, absorbing the sword's power gleefully. Using the Sword of Acorns, a magical weapon enchanted by the royal family of Acorn, even a human like himself could counteract a speed demon like the blue rodent.

As dawn approached, a kind message of footsteps alerted the Doctor to the bat's presence. Rouge's ambulation was a stinging difference from the usual ho-hum, drumming silence that plagued the corridors of Robotnik's secret location as if the walls themselves were afraid to speak their minds in the presence of the Doctor's exterior villainy.

Her face said that the she-bat didn't care very much for the doctor's decor even since the Egyptian base he had commanded years ago back during their first partnership. It was then that the location unveiled itself - with Robotnik posing inside of a black box surrounded by a "red" layer that represented male text, and Rouge in a box to the lower-left, surrounded by a "pink" layer that represented her text as if everything they said was being recorded for some kind of studio audience. Robotnik was a weird dork by personal preference anyway, so she didn't even try to question what the reason behind this text window-based scenery was.

"I've been waiting for hours. What took you so long, she-bat?" was the doctor's greeting, earning him a ruffled glare from the female bat.

"Its not like I'll just appear because you wave a magic wand. I've been busy." she replied, hands at her sides and puffing her chest out. Knowing the goals of this kind of story, that probably wasn't the best idea, and that was because Robotnik was now thoroughly investigating the cleavage of the bat's G-sized dominions from behind the lens of his goggles that restrained this knowledge. Rouge fortunately did not realize this because the doctor's eyes were always invisible behind these goggles, which gave him numerous opportunities to peep into these cleavage zones in the past.

"Mmmmmm... yes. Yes, I think I've enjoyed that long enough." Robotnik grinned to Rouge's dismay, "I've managed to get my hands on the weapon that will finally rid me of my furry rodent problem once and for all! Behold, my latest discovery!-"

From a mysterious den of nothingness, something was taking form. Materializing, a black dot with a swirl pattern for an eye appeared in front of Robotnik. It was about the size of an apple, a really, really creepy-looking apple that was somehow being conjured by Robotnik's... sword? Rouge took a step back as the floating dot flapped its mouth open repeatedly like a PacMan on crack. _Chop. Chop. Pop._ Its grunting was nauseating, she didn't like the way this thing moved and she already didn't like Robotnik, and she definitely didn't like the appearance of that sword in Robotnik's grasp. The doctor had never been a hand-to-hand fighter and he certainly wasn't a swordsman.

"Yipes... what is that thing! I've got a bad feeling about this!"

Rouge slapped a hand over her lips in fright, she glanced left and right and stomached a pit of woe. She had just thought that, but she said it out loud, or it had been spoken out loud! This didn't make any sense. Ah! There it was again, her thoughts and actions were being spoken out loud! What was going on here! Suddenly, Rouge gazed at Robotnik's new weapon, then to the sword, and a realization overpowered her. That was the Sword of Acorns! That magical weapon that gave the wielder special powers and even held a special consciousness inside of itself! It had to be causing all of this... this self-narration, thoughts being read out loud like pages in a novel.

"Ha ha ha hah haaaah ... Its the CensorMan virus!" Robotnik laughed, stepping closer to Rouge with the Sword of Acorns born across his chest, "You see Rouge, not too long ago, SEGA had created an anti-Sonic program thanks to my 'influence' that would automatically censor any explicit scenes inside of Sonic games. This program would become corrupted and transform instead into a virus, infecting games and censoring Sonic. It was a last-defense against the natural mating cycle of the Mobians that SEGA could not always prevent inside these games, most notably in the viral release, Sonic the Pervert."

Rouge didn't pretend to be the least bit interested in what the crazy doctor had cooked up for his so-called "nemesis", she just wished he would send that little monster away or something! Rouge said in a gravelly voice, "Ummm... right. The Ceeensor Man virus. So what does that have to do with me? And why do you have the Sword of Acorns if this is your tool to beat Sonic?"

"Now that I have both the sword and the virus, I have no need of your services anymore!" the doctor answered, touting his beard proudly.

Rouge clenched her fist and brought it up in plain sight, fighting every urge inside of her body to deck that stupid bastard for calling her all the way out here just to fire her. Still this presented them with a very awkward moment of silence until Rouge almost spat out the most alarming, violent curse she could think of at him.

But not before the doctor interrupted her, "I do, however, still require a test for my new powers. So I might as well crush you using these weapons and gauge their limits so I can prepare for my battle with Sonic!"

The situation was thoroughly clear now. Robotnik, with the sword drawn, began to stalk towards Rouge with maniacal footsteps. The "CensorMan" hovered above his head, the orange swirl of its now visible two eyes contaminated by the sword and Robotnik's sick personality, and the only guess she had was that the creature was entirely under Robotnik's control.

Even with this danger, Rouge could only laugh in response, "Haaa. So just because you got a new toy you think that means you actually grew a pair, doctor? I think your pants are on just a little too tight, in case you forgot, I'm a secret agent who specializes in melee combat as well as espionage!" and she challenged the doctor's reflexes with a swift scissor kick. The attack met with the blade of the royal sword, she gasped, and Robotnik's defenses flared up as he not only deflected her kick but somehow kept her hanging on the sword's blade like her boot was magnetized on it. The blade shimmered with yellow light...

Rouge squeaked as a wet, slimy appendage licked south of her right breast, sending a chill along that side of her body that made her convulse. Robotnik's face neared her, soaking in all kinds of perverted images and smelling the black latex of the skintight body suit she wore for all of her espionage acts. Rouge screamed and turned, facing the glowing yellow sword that's energy kept her vulnerable as an attachment, then whipped her fist back around to reveal the doctor's vulnerability - a pure lack of combat training, without which he was unprepared for the reversing stunt Rouge had just enacted.

The bat descended from the magnetized Sword of Acorns and crouched, clutching her affected boob with uneasiness. Robotnik was grazed, but undoubtedly the Sword of Acorns was giving him a brief resistance to conventional attacks and so he only stumbled for a moment before straightening. He didn't budge as Rouge looked at him, she didn't budge because she hadn't noticed the thing that was chomping next to her...

The CensorMan virus swept around her hands and gnawed down on them,, pulling a cry of agony from the bat as she shook the virus off. It had bit down hard enough that her glove was a tad scratched, but otherwise the wound could sustain itself, and so she glanced back at the virus which orbited Robotnik like a protector, "Fwahahaha! Yes Rouge, this is my trump card! Try and attack me, and you'll lose more than what I planned to rob from you!" guffawed Doctor Robotnik with a malcontent stare that drizzled a disabling numbness through the bat's body just bring caught in it.

Rouge gritted her teeth and stood up, then cartwheeled at the doctor before pouncing above him and letting her wings flap open. The Sword of Acorns hiccuped with a white aura and suddenly the two of them were surrounded by a featureless white void that couldn't be explained as anything short of infinite. This didn't give the doctor any real advantage, because once Rouge opened her wings, her gliding picked up speed and she was moving quicker than the human eye alone could perceive. Though this void location the Doctor had warped them to lacked any possible wind, she didn't need it the same way a certain redhead did, as her wings compensated for the elements.

From her perspective, Robotnik was wielding the Sword of Acorns in his left hand, flashing it with a reverse-hand grip so as to block any immediate blows from above (though due to his lack of sword training, this form was likely an accidental pose on his part) and his right arm about to flag forward. Rouge didn't waste anytime as the Sword of Acorns gradually moved, its magic thwarting her speed inch by inch, and the CensorMan, to her shock, still moving at a remarkable speed despite her usual flight speed usually rendering things to the point they appeared not to be moving; A foot to the torso, a fist to the jaw, and a roundhouse across the cheek before time resumed normally...

The bad doctor did a flip from the impact and landed on his rear, the CensorMan skirted behind him before fading into nothingness once again like it had been ordered to by Chuck Norris. Despite his grievous beatdown, Rouge could only see the amused expression on the doctor's face as if none of it had just happened, "Haaa haaah, Rouge, my girls! How cute you are trying to stop me!"

"Hmph, you're a fool. Did you really think you could beat me with that silly little sword? You don't even know how to use it right!" Rouge mocked him, getting close to Robotnik until her eyes glared right down at him.

Robotnik's voice was unchanged, still confident, "No. I didn't expect to beat YOU with this sword. I was expecting YOU to beat ME."

Strangely, Rouge's hand shook uncontrollably. That hand slid down the right side of her chest and cupped one of her breasts, gave it a nice squeeze, and traveled around to the back of her outfit. She gasped when she heard the zipper chuck downward and expose her full back to the air, without the layer of clothing it was rather obvious how cold this void dimension of Robotnik's finding was. The rest of the bodysuit sagged around her form, giving her a blobbish appearance while the heart-shaped breastplate was still girded onto her uniform. None of these actions had been of her choosing of course, Rouge's body trembled with resistance as she tried to focus on Robotnik, who only seemed to be enjoying the unwarranted activity of the bat's body, holding the Sword of Acorns. Clearly he had something to do with it, did anyone have any other guesses?

"Here's a little history lesson: the Sword of Acorns has the power to dominate minds and subjugate victims to the wielder's commands!" With this revelation, Robotnik stepped forward towards the trembling bat as her eyesight and his leveled, the doctor's hands cackled around her shoulders as he began to disrobe her...

**To be continued.**


	3. Long Needed Update

**The Sword of Acorns**

Rouge the Bat, infamous treasure hunter and jewel thief, beautiful agent of the night and beheld by many eyes... had never been more disgraced in her entire life. She was sitting here without any control of her own watching as the foul-tongued Doctor Robotnik spoiled his appetite for power first with her. He bewitched her with his weapon; a mystical sword belonging to the House of Acorn with which he plotted to dominate all those who opposed him and, apparently, capable of subduing those the wielder chose to an inescapable will. Her clothes were being pulled away from her body, not by her hands but by his. She sought nothing other than this man's most excruciating death and she was sure that if she were free the Bat could certainly have gotten the job done. That wasn't an option now.

Doctor Robotnik of course didn't expect for a blue streak to speed by like a sonic-powered hedgehog and completely knock down a wall to get inside. Oh wait, that's his name, so yes, it was indeed Sonic Hedgehog here to save the day with this witty narration at his side! To Rouge the epic battle of swords and spine quills that took place in that hair of a second was a minor exchange between the blue energies of Sonic Hedgehog and the orange-red thrusts and parries of Robotnik the Mad Doctor. But to us, this battle was taking place in another realm as the Sword of Acorns gave Robotnik additional abilities of perception even when fighting a speedster like Sonic. It was such an amazing battle that only an author who was so incredibly callous he'd pass up a winning lottery ticket wouldn't write the amazingly strategic swordplay and dashing, the wavedashing and the bombarding, the crashing and the smashing that went into this battle that would determine the victor between these two incredible tyrants.

Inside that "speed dimension bubble" that always seemed to form whenever Sonic starts running really fast and in the space of six seconds:

Robotnik bonked Sonic on the head with the Sword of Acorns. This did absolutely nothing and Sonic then began moving faster. He kicked Robotnik in the balls which made him flare up and raise his arms as if surprised though this happened very slowly and Sonic still had enough time to strike him. Before he could do that though, the ground fizzled up and suddenly...

"SHIT. IT'S THAT BLACK PACMAN AGAIN!"

"Sonic. Don't be racist, it's the CensorMan Virus! Robotnik must have resurrected it from the delete bin somehow and planned to use it against you. As long as that thing's in the battle, you won't be able to directly confront Robotnik or take the Sword of Acorns!" explained the wily and reliable self-inserted character and part-time narrator who was not hogging the spotlight.

"I... I was getting to that." growled Sonic. "Anyway, YOU AGAIN CENSORMAN? GO AWAY. How can I do anything cool when this thing keeps censoring me? Are you crazy Roboass? Viruses aren't robots, he doesn't even have any idea how to even control that thing... and yet it seems to be trying to bite off my dick instead of his. WHY IS LIFE UNFAIR?"

The narrator told him, "Sonic, if you wish to stop Robotnik once and for all, you're going to have to use your own hands at this speed to rip him to pieces! Holding the Sword, he's practically invincible to all other means of attack!"

"Wha...what?"

"What's wrong?"

Sonic ducked under the CensorMan and tip-toed around it. "It's just that... I've never thought of killing Eggy before. Maybe it's because the game isn't being censored the way it was before. But you're RIGHT FARLAN-DUDE, now's the time to end this! If I want to stop Robotnik, I need to stop him for GOOD. I guess that means** this adventure is a lot darker than the last one and will feature more gore**, right?

"Mmmmm-hmmm. **Not for kids**." nodded the self-inserted author, "It's actually following a plot this time around!"

With that element in mind, Sonic retraced his steps from the last encounter he'd had with the CensorMan Virus. The Virus moved slower so long as he didn't move to fast, but at this speed he was already moving too fast and had to slow down first before he could reach a full-stop. He circled around Robotnik and the Virus followed suit, then caught the bad doctor's coat tail and slid underneath him and allowed the Virus to copy his movement. He snatched Robotnik's trousers and pulled, with that kind of force the doctor was ripped from that very fabric of reality. The white-space dimension of speed they were in no longer inhibited him so long as Sonic kept shredding at him. With what little distance there was Sonic heard Robotnik's cries of pain and he heard the Sword of Acorns, its mumbling unintelligble.

He swiveled, masterfully dodging the CensorMan this time, and ripped off Robotnik's leg.

He curled and roared through Robotnik's lower torso and left hand.

Sonic whipped back around and slipped away from CensorMan, revving himself up for a Figure 8 Mach Dash, and unleashing himself at Robotnik, crashing through the mad doctor's body all at once and eradicating him from the white-space dimension and everything about him except for the Sword of Acorns which required far more severe injury to be moved. As Robotnik fell forwards, Sonic leapt onto his head and swiped the Sword out of the air and brought it with him.

"I... guess in this form, I couldn't take you on Sonic!" huffed Robotnik, regaining his senses.

Before Sonic could clean off a witty remark, the Sword of Acorns glowed red and with spiritual grace lifted itself from his infelicitous hands and returned to its previous master. "Here's a little history lesson Sonic... the Sword of Acorns can DOMINATE minds!"

"Just like it possessed Sally? Pah, it won't work Robotnik! I'm too cool for that!"

"I don't plan to, my dear rodent! Instead I shall perform the same form of possession that affected your Uncle Chunk. I will control the CENSOR MAN VIRUS ITSELF!"

_SHWING_!

!

The exclamatory dust was flattened by the blue blur's radical movement as he searched for the mad doctor. Robotnik was nowhere to be seen, but had his plan... yes, yes it had. Go to the next paragraph. Now. Do it!

"HA-HA-HA! AT LAST... AN INVULNERABLE BODY! I'M EVEN FASTER THAN YOU NOW, SONIC!" the virus, which ironically was infected by the robotic face of Robotnik's possession, materialized in front of Sonic with a big poofy mustache and even a metallic mouth and tongue. Robotnik was now the Censor Virus, he and the Virus were one.

* * *

"So Robotnik became more powerful than ever, and he captured many of the animals from Knothole and held them hostage. In an effort to force to Sonic into a trap. Will Sonic rescue the girls before they fall under Robotnik's control? Will Tails ever recover from his traumatic rectal trauma? Will this story receive a PG-13 Rating! Stay tuned for the next chapter of... SONIC. SEX. PALS!"


End file.
